First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
