I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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