WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
