My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
