Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
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My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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