either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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