Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
