Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
