It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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