I smell stomach acid.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
