Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
