you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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