I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
