I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
