Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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