Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize