I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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