Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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