You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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