you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
