Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize