If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Blood and glitter go together right?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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