I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
