I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
