dude i'm inner monologue high
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
