And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
