can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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