Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
