Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
