It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We have so much sex to catch up on
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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