The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize