We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
