It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
