The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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