I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
