note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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