dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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