I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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