so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
