dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
