the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
