i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
