A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
