I wish I could teleport
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize