so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
