i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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