It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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