i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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