kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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