Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.

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(312): View more from Illinois

if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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(913): View more from Kansas

He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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(253): View more from Washington

I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.

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(253): View more from Washington

he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.

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(914): View more from New York

He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.

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(757): View more from Virginia

If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans

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