I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
