Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it hurts more in the daytime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Randomize