He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
