hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
