went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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