I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
