I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
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You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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