Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
