we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
